Musings From Erma

 

 

Erma Bombeck was one of my favorite humorists.  She was a master at allowing us to see her family in a funny and humorous light.  The great thing about her humor is that we all had those experiences in our own homes.  Boy would she have been a great blogger.

Sadly, Erma passed away from medical complications related to a kidney  transplant on April 22, 1996.

I thought I would share some Ermaisms.  See if you can relate to any of them.  Enjoy!

 

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

ERMA BOMBECK

Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, “No, thank you” to dessert that night. And for what?!

ERMA BOMBECK, Woman’s Day Magazine, Nov. 13, 2007

Raising a family wasn’t something I put on my resumé, but I have to ask myself, would I apply for the same job again?

ERMA BOMBECK, Family: The Ties that Bind–and Gag!

I wanted to go to a place where you were important and people listened to what you had to say. Mothering hadn’t done that … and yet … wouldn’t it be ironic if my turf yielded the most important commodity being grown today? A family? A crop of children, seeded by two people, nourished by love, watered by tears, and in eighteen or twenty years harvested into worthwhile human beings to go through the process again.

ERMA BOMBECK, Family: The Ties that Bind–and Gag!

He who laughs … lasts.

ERMA BOMBECK, Forever, Erma

Families aren’t easy to join. They’re like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible demands and the dues for an outsider are exorbitant.

ERMA BOMBECK, Family: The Ties that Bind … And Gag!

I question the value of name tags as an aid to future identification. I have approached too many people who have spent the entire evening talking to my left bosom. I always have the insane desire to name the other one.

ERMA BOMBECK, I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.

ERMA BOMBECK, Family: The Ties that Bind … And Gag!

I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.

ERMA BOMBECK, A Marriage Made In Heaven; or, Too Tired For an Affair

Children should be judged on what they are — a punishment for an early marriage.

ERMA BOMBECK, I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

I’ve exercised with women so thin, buzzards followed them to their cars.

ERMA BOMBECK, Forever, Erma

You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I’ll show you an orphan.

ERMA BOMBECK, Family: The Ties that Bind … And Gag!

Grandmas defy description. They really do. They occupy such a unique place in the life of a child. They can shed the yoke of responsibility, relax, and enjoy their grandchildren in a way that was not possible when they were raising their own children. And they can glow in the realization that here is their seed of life that will harvest generations to come.

ERMA BOMBECK, At Wit’s End

Sex is only a three-letter word so how can it be dirty?

ERMA BOMBECK, Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.

ERMA BOMBECK

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

ERMA BOMBECK

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

ERMA BOMBECK